July 2009
18 posts
sometimes i think really long and hard about starting everything over. what i might do if i could move away with no notice or clue or treasure maps as to where i might be. nothing to lead anyone to me. no heart strings. no emotional baggage. leave it back in the house that is not my home. rebuild my ribcage, my bed frame, my bookshelf.
leave every book, record, photograph, pair of jeans.
change...
tonight, people looked at my art. some people bought some. other people just said they liked it. it was all pretty great. i like my friends.
i want to gather all of the people who think obama is a nazi in one concentrated location, and show them what a nazi REALLY is
if the colors don't run, run away.
i am seeing an increase of right-wingers standing on street corners lobbying against obama, saying he is turning our society into ‘nazi germany’ and a ‘socialist nation’ with his new healthcare plan. saying we will all be covered under his healthcare plan when we are dead. citing examples of healthcare gone wrong in a couple other countries- saying britain is brainwashing...
the brain pt. 3
i try to force my brain and mouth to keep in constant communication with each other- like when your little brother went away to summer camp and you wanted to throw a party, but your mom made you sign the card in his care package. last laugh: those twizzlers never made it to cabin 6.
i find it so easy to be pretentious about these simple things. music, art, language. i have no right. really, i...
science of sleep was a bad movie.
in the chronicles of my sleep, i can finally say that i slept through the night last night. different side of the bed. change your perspective. the whole room looks different from the corner. i’ve been thinking a lot lately about how i want everything to stay the same all the time. something about my haircut and chopping my jeans into shorts sent me spiraling into some introspective state-...
the brain pt. 2
i have a complex about people not thinking i am smart enough. interesting enough. this started a few years ago when i found out someone i knew told someone else that i knew that they thought i was ‘an idiot.’ it has since been a surprisingly constant worry in the back of my mind. ‘like i care what some guy with poorly grown sideburns says about my intelligence.’ and i don’t...
the brain pt. 1
there is a flashlight in my bathroom, that, upon first glance, looks like an electric razor.
anyone who knows my husband would tell you that couldn’t possibly be his. i kind of wish i could say this because he is a hasidic jew, but that would mean i was living a lie. so…i guess i’m just really happy it’s a flashlight, at least for now. i don’t think i will ever want...
dear kara:
i do not suffer from denial or confusion.
i write a lot about sleep. i think this might be due to the fact that most nights, i can’t sleep. i don’t know why this is. something about living in a city i don’t understand with only a handful of people i know compounded by the fact that i don’t like my new haircut and those photos sitting on my computer are begging for a person who isn’t colorblind to edit them. i...
5 things i am thinking about tonight
1. home//not home
2. time travel
3. realizing my potential is either vast and never-ending or conversely stagnant and stunted.
4. music i listen to when i am ‘depressed’ is similar to the music i listen to when i am ‘happy.’ this either means that depressed=happy or that i am in a world of trouble.
5. maybe it’s time to stop running away.
oh no, why so serious?
i’d like people to take me more seriously. this has been something i’ve been wanting for a long time. i have a complex. the complex has a complex. at this point, i’m not even sure people don’t take me seriously…maybe, out of habit, i just assume that they don’t.
i keep buying into this neurotic way of life- the way i make art, the way i do everything, is...
i had a blogger account. i mean, i have a blogger account. it felt too constraining. i felt somehow less accessible. though that was one reason i loved it- the idea of writing outlandish things for everyone to see, but knowing that no one would actually see them.
i feel like i’m finally taking my top off at a nude beach or something. just had to test the waters first. see what the unsightly...
